Reversed
by omalleyanatomy26
Summary: Sam defeates Lilith but dies in the process. He winds up in hell, instead of Dean because of his demon blood but gets pulled out, later we find out by Castiel. UPDATED! CHAPTER 5 IS EDITED! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Just because I've depressed myself from watching depressing SN videos I decided to write a depressing story lol, theraputic right? I know I started one similar to this where Dean's going to have to heal his brother, I'll update that too, but I decided to kill off Sammy in this fic cause I'm just in that kind of mood LOL. And hey I HAVE updated some of my more older fics recently, like Wild by Nature and Don't Breathe Word, so THERE. lol.****

* * *

****Prologue

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**

"No!" Sam screamed as he was pinned at the wall.

"Yes!" Breathed Lilith. Something inside of Sam changed. He couldn't explain it but his powers were overpowering Lilith's power.

"NO!" He bellowed. He managed to release himself from the wall and raise his hand. A blast also came from it. The hellhounds had stopped at that point, Sam was somehow making it impossible for them to come near Dean. Dean stared at his brother in disbelief.

"What the..."

Both blasts collided with each other creating an explosion in the room. Dean ducked and covered himself. When he looked up he stared at the body that Lilith was possessing, it had fallen to the floor. But than again...so had Sam's.

"Sam!" He raced towards his little brother in panic. "No...no, Sam!" _Not again_! He felt for a pulse. There was none.

"Sam!" Terror filled him as he grabbed his brother tightly, and hugged his little brother tightly, running his hand through Sam's hair.

"No..." He shook in agonized sobs as he didn't feel Sam's pulse. "Oh God please...NO!" He yelled the last word as he rocked back and forth.

"Why, Sammy?" He said, his voice shaking. "Why?!"

He buried his head into his brother's shoudler, again...this whole feeling felt horribly familiar. He continued to rock back and forth as he tried to find a way to mourn his dead brother.

* * *

Sam laid, tied to wires that was somehow holding him. Clouds and lightening flashed around him. He was bound and he was helpless, and he knew where he was. He aws in Hell, he had to be. Heaven couldn't look or feel like this.

"Somebody?!" He shouted desperatly, even though he knew it was hopeless. "Somebody help me? Anybody? DEAN!!"

**Yes I know it's like in the finale, but with the Sam reversal. But I've always wanted to see what would happen if Sam was in hell because of his demon blood. Would he become a demon quickly? Would he fight torturing souls longer than Dean or give in sooner? That's why I'm sort of eager about this fic though I doubt I'll get a lot of reviews for it because for one, it's so short lol. It was one I wrote because I wanted to, if that makes sense. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, people actually reviewed! I guess I should continue, don't worry it'll be much longer!

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**

Dean couldn't believe it.

His brother was dead. Even _after _selling his soul his brother _still _died. To protect him. He was numbed with shock when Bobby found him, holding Sam in his arms while rocking back and forth.

"He's dead, Bobby," he gasped in shuddering sobs. "He's dead. I...I couldn't save him." He buried his head into Sam's chest. "I couldn't save him," he repeated to himself, as he rocked back and forth. "I couldn't save him."

* * *

He _couldn't _stand it. He had to make the deal again. Without thinking he buried the box in the ground.

"Come on, come on!" Dean screamed. A man peaked from the bushes. "I'm not sure I should even talk to you," he said. "After all one of you shot one of my co-workers."

"I don't give a shit about that right now," Dean growled. "I want you to bring my brother back. I'M supposed to be dead, not him!" The man smiled.

"Sorry, that doesn't work like that. I don't know what your brother did, but for some reasons the hellhounds can't go anywhere _near _you. He must have created some sort of force field around you. Must have died because he used up all his powers."

Dean was shaking.

"I'll kill myself than," he reasoned. "And you can have my soul!"

"Nice try." The man smiled. "But we already have one Winchester down in the pit. That's enough for us."

Dean stared at him.

"What." He felt sick.

The man flickered another smile.

"Don't you know?" He whispered. "Sweet innocent Sammy's doing your time downstairs...by the way, he says hi."

Dean's body shook.

"You...you're lying," he said slowly. The man laughed.

"He shouldn't have used those demon powers of his at the time of his death," he whispered. "Apparently God doesn't like demon blood in his heaven."

Dean stared at him, feeling even sicker. The thought of Sammy down in the pit with bastards like this _thing _in front of him...

"No," he whispered. The man roared with laughter.

"Oh yes," he purred. "And as you know sweet Sammy has a lot of enemies down there. They all want a piece of your brother! Wait...do you hear that? I can, it Sam screaming for help. Screaming for _you_. His big brother to come and save him."

Dean let out a roar and lunged at the demon in front of him and stabbed it in the cest.

Than he collapsed in anguished sobs.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy," he murmured, covering his hands in his face. "So sorry... It should have been me. It should have been me."

* * *

He stumbled back into his hotel room. He had taken off in the middle of the night. He didn't want to impose on Bobby anymore than he already had. He stared bitterly into the fire. His brother was dead...and it was all his fault.

Dean glared at the mirror.

"It should be YOU down there!" He bellowed at his reflection with heated anger. "Not Sam...If anyone should be rotting in hell, it should be YOU!"

With that he tossed the empty bottle at the glass before passing out.

* * *

He couldn't believe he had to bury his brother. That was almost too much for him. His body shook as he took the shovel and put dirt on the coffin. He had to do it alone. he deserved to do it alone. Hell he should be in the coffin, not Sammy. He could barely finish it. His chest ached so much he could barely breathe. His whole hand shook when he rose the shovel to sprinkle the dirt into the grave. Each time he did he had to take a swig of whisky.

This was unbelievable. _He was burying his brother. _

"I'm so sorry dad," he whispered. "Sammy...so sorry." And than he collopased next to the grave in gutwrenching sobs.

On the Tombstone he later wrote

_Samuel Winchester_

_Beloved Son of Mary and John Winchester and beloved Brother of Dean Winchester. _

He didn't carve in May He Rest in Peace because he knew for a fact Sammy wasn't in peace. He was in hell.

A month went by. A mindless robotic month. He became a killing machine, ruthless in his hunts. He was known for his coldness and for being dangerously reckless. He kept on wanting to kill himself but something kept on pulling him back. Something kept on telling him that his brother wouldn't want him to kill himself, and he knew that was the truth. Whatever had happened, Sammy would want him to keep on living. But he wasn't living, not really.

Another month had passed. It was the same as the last. Dean had forgotten how to feel. How to think. He had erased all emotions from him. It hurt too much to feel. So he didn't. He didn't care about anything but killing the monsters in the night. He became obssessed with hunting. Other hunters knew that he worked solo. He refused to let himself get close to anyone ever again.

He stayed half drunk most of the time. That was the only way he could make it through the day. After the hunt he would stumble back to whatever motel room he was staying at, flipped on the television and drowned himself in liquir until he passed out.

But he never escaped what had happened Not even in his dreams. Especially not in his dreams. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw his brother, at the age of 10 or so, screaming for help. Screaming for Dean to come and save him.

He would wake shouting Sammy's name and than remembered the bitter truth.

Finally the Summer passed. He was amazed he survived it. Most of the time he was too drunk to really think, to really see what was going on. To understand his surroundings. But he always sobered up for the hunt. It was the one time he still felt alive, when he killed those things. He releshed it. Releshed the feeling of power. The feeling of being alive.

It was one of the few times he forgot about Sammy. Which rarely happened. Most of the time his brother was in his throughts every second of the day. He hated himself every time he looked in the mirror.

"It should be you down there," he growled. "It should be you. Not Sammy."

The Summer he indeed stumbled around half drunk. He could barely remember a time when he was sober. Why should he stay sober? His family was dead. He was nothing. He didn't deserve to even be _breathing_.

He collaspsed on the couch and passed out. He was a routine guy after all.

* * *

While Dean passed out frmo the liquir miles away Sam Winchester's eyes snapped open as he woke up in his grave...

_**TBC**_

**But only if you want me too! **


	3. Chapter 3

**More people have responded to this than I thought they would, seriously I was expecting to get like none lol. This is gonna be somewhat similar now to my Wild by Nature fic only because Sammy's gonna have anmesia and act a bit different and not be so normal like Dean was when he got out of hell. :) But this time Dean has to take care of him.

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**

Sam woke. His eyes opened wide as he realized that he was buried under ground, in some kind of box.

"Help!" He rasped. "Help!" Using all his strength he pushed open the lid and crawled out of the box. He stood and blinked, as he shyed away from the brightness of the sun. He stared in confusion at a cabin that was in front of him. Slowly he stumbled to it and pushed the door open. He stared at some water that was on a glass at a table. He dove for it instantly and guzzled it like he hadn't tasted water in years.

"Put the glass down boy!" A vaguely familiar voice shouted from behind. "Turn around and raise your hands!" Bobby had stood behind him with a gun. Slowly Sam turned and stared at him him, with wide and shaking eyes, and slowly raised his arms. Bobby lowered the gun in shock.

"Sa...Sam?"

Sam blinked.

"Where am I?" He looked around. "Who are you? What is this place?"

Bobby raised his gun again, but not so sure this time. His first reaction was a shape shifter, but than again why would a shifter act so confused and dazed?

"You can't be Sam," he said. "Sam's dead!" Sam stared at him, his eyes frightened.

"Who are you?" He repeated. "Where am I?"

Bobby stood there, unsure of what too do. Slowly he reached for a silver knife and grabbed Sam's arm. Sam jerked in defense.

"Wh..What are you doing?" He gasped.

"I'm sorry, I have to know for sure!" Bobby said and pressed against Sam's skin with the knife. Sam shouted in surprise, tears filling in his eyes, and stood there-looking more than a little confused.

Bobby watched in shock as blood oozed from the skin.

"My God..." He looked at Sam and than grabbed a flask of holy water and splashed it in Sam's face. Nothing. Sam blinked, but stuck his tongue out to catch the droplets of water falling from his skin. _He was so thirsty. _He didn't know much, but he knew that.

"Sam?" Bobby had tears in his eyes. "Is it really you?"

Sam looked at him uncertianly.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "Who Sam is."

Bobby stared at him in a new form of shock now. What was that supposed to mean?

"Where'd you come from?" He asked. "I mean, where did you...wake up?"

Sam nodded to the yard and Bobby looked and felt sick as he saw the coffin open and the grave ruined. It appeared that Sam had to claw his way out of his coffin. With tears in his eyes he looked back at the confused and troubled young man.

"I'm sorry son," he said, his voice shaking. "If I knew I would have..."He let his voice trail off. "I'm sorry." He reached forward to touch Sam, but Sam jerked sharply away. Bobby's eyes widened. "I'm not going to hurt you, Sam," he said softly, and than realized that he just did with the knife. "Sam...nobody's gonna hurt you again. I didn't mean to hurt you... had to take precautions."

Sam stared at him with still nervous and untrusting eyes.

"Do you...do you want anything?" Bobby choose his words carefully. Sam continued to stare at him.

"Water," he finally said. His throat was so parched still. Bobby quickly nodded and went to the refrigerator to get fresh bottled water. Sam finished the two bottles Bobby gave in within a matter of minutes.

"Whoa, slow down there son!" Bobby said while laughing a bit. "There's plenty more where that came from. You drink too fast, you're gonna make yourself sick."

Sam slowed his drinking.

"What...."Bobby paused. "What...do you remember?"

Sam looked at him with sad eyes that were hungry for knowledge.

"Nothing," he said softly.

"Nothing?" Bobby asked. "So you don't remmber hell?"

"Hell?" Sam blinked. "I...I don't even remember my own _name_. I don't know where...where I am,..or who you are...I don't know how I've remembered to talk, but I do...I just don't...I don't remember anything else..." He sat down on one of the chairs, clearly petrified and clearly lost.

Bobby closed his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm gonna make a call," he said slowly. "You sit here, I'll get you some more water. You want anything to eat?" Sam shook his head, still in shock over what was happening to him. Bobby grabbed him three or four bottles of water and went to the other room.

"You better pick up boy," he growled under his breath. Surprisingly enough Dean did pick up.

"Yeah." His voice was flat and unwelcoming.

"Get your ass over here now," Bobby said sternly. Interest was in Dean's voice now.

"Why?"

"It has to do with your brother."

Bobby could almost see Dean stiffen.

"That's not funny, Bobby. My brother's dead."

"No," Bobby said slowly. "He's not."

Dean paused.

"You better be very careful on how you continue this," he hissed.

Bobby sighed. It was going to be tougher than he thought to convince Dean to come over.

"Come over," he said. "Trust me Dean, you won't be dissapointed. I'll track you down if I have to."

Dean sighed.

"Fine," he snapped. "But there better be a good reason, Bobby."

"Oh there is," Bobby said, staring back at the kitchen at Sam who was guzzling the water like crazy. "There is."

* * *

Robotically Dean drove up to the cabin, his radio off. The music reminded him way too much of those long car rides with his brother. Numbly he walked up the steps, recovering from his latest hangover. Bobby opened the door quickly.

"I wasn't sure you'd come," he said slowly.

"Neither was I," Dean mumbled. "What do you want from me, Bobby?"

Bobby looked at the young man who's eyes were bloodshot. He sighed.

"Before I show you, yes it's really him, I made sure of that."

Dean frowned.

"What are you talking about, Bobby?"

"Come, and I'll show you."

Dean came and than stared in shock at his baby brother sitting in front of him. Sam stood up when they entered. He smiled uncertianitly at Dean.

"Who's this?" He asked Bobby. Dean looked at Bobby sharply.

"He's your brother," Bobby said slowly. Sam blinked and looked surprised.

"The hell he is," Dean growled. "This is a really sick joke, Bobby, especially coming from you." He grabbed the knife that was nearby but Bobby grabbed Dean's arm and forced it back.

"I already tried that!" He bellowed. Sam had jumped and than hid at a nearby corner, trying to protect himself. "Look, you see the blood that's still on it?"

Dean looked at it, stunned.

"And the holy water?" He whispered, as he dropped the knife.

"Doesn't do anything," Bobby said slowly. Dean stared at him, his throat closing and his breathing quickening.

"He doesn't know who I am," was all he could say. Bobby shook his head.

"He doesn't remember anything," he said sadly. "I think he's lost his memory," he added slowly. Dean closed his eyes.

"It's him.." He repeated. "It's really him? How?"

"I don't know how," Bobby whispered. Shaking Dean turned, his heart beat becoming faster. He turned and looked at Sam who was huddled in the corner, shaking. Sam as a 10 year old, scared and confused, flashed through his mind. His heart ached as he saw the kid so confused and scared like this. Bobby shook his head, obviously feeling the same way.

Still processing what was happening, that his brother was alive, he walked over to Sam.

"Sammy?"

Sam slowly looked up, still holding his knees to his face. He looked like a scared lost little kid.

"I'm not going to hurt you," whispered Dean. He knelt next to his little brother. He than reached his arm out. "Here," he said. "Take it." Slowly Sam did just that and took Dean's hand as Dean pulled him up and than grabbed him, slightly startling Sam, into a tight hug. Sam let his arms hang limp for a moment, unsure of who this person is and why he was hugging him. But it felt wrong not to hug back, so he copied Dean and did exactly the same thing. Bobby watched this somewhat bittersweet reunion and for the first time ince Sam's death he smiled.

**This took me longer to write than I thought it was going to so PLEASE review since this was a difficult chapter for me. Sorry, no Demon Sam. Decided it's too cruel to Dean in this fic but you get hurt and confused Sam and big brother Dean taking care of his little brother! :) **


	4. Chapter 4

**Whoa, way more people reviewed for this than I thought they would! lol. That makes me happy cause I really love this idea :)

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**

Dean finished hugging Sam. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"I can't believe it," he whispered. "Sammy, is that really you?"

Sam looked honestly confused.

"I...I really don't know who you are," he apologized. "Or...or what's going on." He looked at the two. "Where am I? _Who _am I?" His voice was pleading, desperate now. "What's...what's going on? Why is everyone so emotional around me? Why'd I wake up in a coffin underground?" Fear was in his eyes. Dean studied his little brother for a long time.

"You honestly don't remember any of it, do you?" He whispered softly. "Or _anything_."

Sam shook his head, his body trembling.

"The last thing I remember," he said truthfully. "Is waking up in a coffin."

Dean and Bobby shared a despaired look at the idea of Sam waking up in a place like that.

"Sammy..."Dean clared his throat. "I...I don't know how to tell you this but..." He looked at Bobby who shook his head helplessly. "But you died," Dean finally finished.

Sam blinked.

"What?" He whispered, slowly, trying to fathom this concept.

"You died and went to...you went to hell." Tears spilled from Dean's eyes than. "You went to hell, but it should have been me down there, Sammy. It should have been _me_ damn it, and I'm sorry Sammy. You have no idea how sorry I am."

Sam was blinking in even more confusion.

"I...I went to hell?" He looked physically sick. Bobby sighed, wondering how exhausting this must be on the poor kid.

"Look, Dean, maybe you two should sit down and talk. I have a feeling this is gonna take a _long _time to sort out."

Dean slowly nodded and let Sam gently to the table. Bobby decided to stay, to help clear things up as well, if Dean needed any assistance in that department. Sam listened intantly, but with a confused look on his face.

Finally Dean thought he had everything sorted out, expect how Sammy was brought back. That was at a lost for him. Bobby had left, midway discussion, to get some food. He figured whether Sam realized it or not, he must be starving.

"You feeling any better?" Dean asked.

"A bit..."Sam said slowly. "I just wish _I _remembered all of this, you know?"

Dean nodded sadly.

"So do I," he sighed. Bobby returned with some pizza.

"Pineapple was Sam's favorite, right?" He asked and Dean smiled.

"You bet, pineapple sounds great." Right at that moment sawdust would have sounded great, though. Dean didn't care what he was eating. He just cared about the fact that he was eating with his brother again.

"I should know what my favorite pizza is," Sam sighed with frusteration.

"Oh you will," Bobby said, as cheerfully as he could. Sam looked at him.

"How?"

"I'm sure you'll start to remember," Bobby told him.

"So am I," Dean said quickly. "I mean you rose from the dead, Samy, and got out of hell. Give it some time."

Sam slowly nodded and bit into the pizza and swallowed.

"Bobby's right," he said with a smile. "Pineapple is my favorite."

That brought a true smile from Dean.

Suddenly though, in the middle of their meal, strange flashes went through Sam's head. Hot unpleasent flashes. Strange images. He dropped the pizza and put his hand to his head, like one of his premonations.

"Sam?" Dean looked up sharply. "Sammy? What's going on?"

"I don't know," gasped Sam as the intensity of the flashes grew. "I don't-" And than suddenly he collapsed and Dean's eyes widened as he rushed to his little brother.

"Sam!"

**Sorry for it being so short, I'm really tired and besides I figured this was a good cliffie! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**I know that I've been AWFUL with updating my stories latetly, just AWFUL. I never attended to get this bad, but right now I have been swamped with schoolwork. I'm really really sorry it went on as long as it did,. Also my computer broke down twice during the last few months, which is another excuse-I know. lol. **

**And even though it's been forever I hope you guys still review, because it's your reviews that are making me want to update these stories, as well as finish them! So pretty please? With cherry on top? :)**

**Edit: Wow, I really basically wrote chapter 5 like I did with chapter 4, I'm sorry guys. This is what happens when I don't update my fics for a really long time. And I thought I reread it, but I guess I didn't lol. So I'm fixing it, :) Again, sorry!**

* * *

"Sam?!" Dean shouted as "Sammy!" He shook his brother's body as Sam moaned in pain. "Bobby, what's happening?!"

"I wish I knew!" Bobby said, a tremor in his voice. He reached for the phone.

"No!" Dean's voice was harsh. "Don't call 911."

"We need help Dean," Bobby argued.

"Bobby, do you really think that these doctors can do anything for him? You of all people should know how hard it would be to explain these things to people like them! Not to mention we're presumed dead and if we get caught..."He shook his head. "We can't deal with that shit right now, Bobby. Not when Sam's like this."

He ran his hand over Sam's hair as Sam continued to moan and sob.

"I'm here, I'm here Sammy," he murmured.

Suddenly Sam's eyes snapped open.

"Sam?" Eagerness filled Dean's voice. Sam looked around, wide eyed and shaking.

"Get away from me!" He shouted as Dean touched him. Bobby turned around sharply at hearing his voice.

"Sam?"

"I'm not gonna hurt you Sammy," Dean said quietly and reached out towards his brother again, but Sam pushed him away.

"Don't touch me." The words came out in a trembling hiss. "Don't..."

"All right, all right." Dean quickly raised his hands. "No one's gonna touch you. But we can't help you unless you tell us what happened."

"You can trust us, son," Bobby added as he knelt before the terrified young man. "We're family. We care about you and want to help you."

Sam shook his head, tears streaming down his face.

"You wouldn't want to help me," he gasped. "Not after what I saw....what I saw myself do in...."

"In what?" Dean couldn't help but ask.

"In hell." Sam turned his head miserably.

Bobby sucked in his breath.

"You had a flashback, Sam?" He asked slowly. "Of hell?"

Sam paused before answering.

"Yeah....I guess..."Confusion covered his face. "It was all a blur...but what I saw...." he shuddered. "I saw me pulling the limbs off of someone, a soul I guess, and hearing them scream.."He buried his head into his arms. "I don't even know who I am and already I hate myself," he added in a whisper. "I must be some kind of monster, to do something like that."

Anger flashed in Dean's eyes, mixed with relief. The old Sam was in there still, the one who was constantly hard on himself, always worrying about turning into a monster. So he was far from gone, there was still hope to getting _all _of Sam back.

He reached over to touch his brother who jerked away.

"Sam, it's okay, this doesn't matter. This doesn't change how I feel about you. We have no clue what you went through in hell, you probably didn't have any choice-"

"It still doesn't make it right," Sam murmured. Dean closed his eyes.

"Let's talk about this tomorrow," Bobby suggested. "How about you get some sleep, kiddo?"

Sam looked up with a tear stained face and slowly nodded. Exhausted he allowed Dean to help him to his feet and slowly walked towards Bobby's bed."

"Sorry I don't have a spare room for you," Bobby apologized and Sam shook his head.

"It's all right," he whispered. He closed his eyes but than snapped them open as he saw that same image of him torturing another soul over and over again.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, concern in his eyes.

He shook his head.

"I can't....I can't go to sleep," Sam said, fear in his voice. "Everytime I close my eyes now, I see..."

"Those images?" Dean said quietly. "Of hell?"

Sam nodded miserably and Dean sighed.

"I'll stay with you, throughout the night," Dean promised. "And if I sense you're having a bad dream....a bad memory I'll wake you up. Would that help?"

"Would you do that?" Sam asked, hope in his voice and Dean nodded.

"Of course I would, you're my brother."

Sam shook his head.

"I don't deserve you as a brother," he muttered. "Not after what I-"

"Don't talk like that," Dean said, his voice stern. "It's me who doesn't deserve to be related to you, but let's not get into that right now. Right now you need sleep."

Slowly Sam nodded and Dean helped him lay down on the bed.

As he covered Sam with the blankets on instinct he began to hum and slowly Sam closed his eyes and finally drifted off into a peaceful sleep, being comforted by the fact that while he may not remember him his big brother was near him, waiting....watching....protecting.....

**Sorry this was short but I had to rewrite a new chapter to make up for the mixup of chapter 5, lol.**


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